Continental Marriages

My definition of a continental marriage is that the bride and groom are from different continents.

Have you ever looked on facebook or some other social networking website at the marriage pictures of our beloved Indian Desi with an American/European? What are all the emotions/thoughts that were running your mind when you look at a family photo of newly weds? What are the things that clearly stood out? The difference in skin colors (all the more visible when the Desi is a south Indian), difference in cultures, the Desi women in glittering sarees, the fairer people in long wedding gowns and 3 piece suites. Have you ever wondered how will they survive together with so many vast differences between them and with very little knowledge of the customs and traditions of the other side?

On the contrary, I would say that it is much easier for them than a full traditional Desi/Desi marriage. For example take the case of Indian groom and an American Bride and compare it to the marriage of Indian groom and Indian bride. So does the American bride as compared to her Indian counterpart has to

1. Stay for a mandatory few days at her in-laws place and enchant the family of the groom with undeserved/unreciprocated respect, dignity?
2. Touch the feet of her in-laws every day even though the only result of it will be pain in the back and the heart?
3. Prove her innocence that she never talked to other boys (forget about mentioning trips or movies together) in school or college? And forget about even mentioning things like smoking and alcohol.
4. Answer the questions about the dowry and other special gifts from her parents?
5. Make tasty seasonal special dishes for festivals and special occasions, which some how arrive at every other week in the Indian calendar?
6. Produce a male heir with in a year of marriage? And worry all the pregnant months that it might actually turn out to be a girl child?
7. Stay with her in-laws and cook for them everyday?
8. Listen to advice every minute on cooking, running the house and all others things under the sky?

All the deviations in the standard expected behavior of the American bride can be attributed to the lack of knowledge of Indian customs and traditions. Unfortunately for the Indian bride, she is expected to know/do all the above by default with out asking any questions. So who has it easy in the life at the end? And not only the American bride, but also imagine the easy life of her Indian groom. All he has to say every time is: "Oh mom, she doesn’t know. Forget about it".

I recently caught up with an old Indian friend who married a European girl. And he spoke of small amounts of friction between his mother and wife during his child birth. But then we could always make a logical conclusion at the end that it is due to the difference in backgrounds, cultures, and customs etc. etc… And now how can you explain the never ending stories of the daily BIG amount of friction of Indian bride and her Indian mother in law?

So my free advice to all my unmarried friends or to the Indian community is to have continental marriages. As long as your love for each other is strong, you can forget about the perils of differences in cultures, customs and traditions and also stop worrying that you might be part of the divorce rate statistics of America and Europe. True, your partner might drink alcohol once in a while, but these are only small disadvantages as compared to the great benefits you can have by avoiding an all Indian wedding.